torn up inside
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The craving is back

Sometimes things it just hits you so bad. You wonder why did it come. Where did this sadness come from? Is it because of the lack of love or the stress from home. To be honest I have no idea. All I know is that it hurts so much hand sometime, just sometimes I wish I it all ended. It’s just so hard. I have no idea how to release this pain. All I know is that I it eating away at me from the inside. It just sucks so much. I want to feel free. I want to be free. Freedom. It’s something that many people take for granted. The shackles that is holding me down is too heavy. I can’t move, I can’t breathe. I’m so tired of putting up this front. I’m so tired of pretending to be happy. This façade is killing me slowly. Why must I go through this. Why must I endure this Why? Why me? What have I done wrong? God, please help me. I feel so useless. So helpless. I am unable to endure this heartache anymore. I cannot endure this pain anymore.

Today is the first time after so long that I feel like hurting myself again. I want feel happy, even for a brief second. I do not want to think of anything else I want my mind to be free. I want to be free. Seeing the blood trickle down my hand, feeling the cold steel against my skin, the heat from the cuts I make takes my mind away from everything. That brief period, gives me peace. That’s all that I want. Peace.

I know I have made promises to those close to me that I will not do it again but I do not think that I can stop myself. I want that peace. I want that serenity. I want that solace, the comfort. I just want to be happy

Why do I feel this way. Everything is going fine and well. Why do I wanna hurt myself? It’s stupid right. I know it is but it’s the only way I feel peace. It takes my mind away from everything. Pain.


taste the pain
2/24/2008 11:41:00 PM


Im just so tired of all the trouble and fights and everything else. I need peace.

taste the pain
2/04/2008 12:26:00 AM